Monday, May 29, 2006

NOTE TO SELF

I don't know about y'all, but it's a flaw in my character that I have allowed my focus to drift to the point where I need to remind myself to concentrate on what's important and let go of the bollocks that clogs up my life's arteries. So, publicly, a reminder:

Accept that you get distracted too easily, Battersby. Remember what's important. You have too many of these important things that need doing. Stop wasting your time on people whose opinions don't matter.

Message ends.

Friday, May 26, 2006

ONE DOWN...

Okay, so the manuscript assessment is finished and posted. Now all I need to do is finish the remaining 40+ pages of The Memory of Breathing script so I can show it to the producer at Conflux, write the pitches for the 2 workshops I want to run at the QWC, write the pitch for the KSP workshop, and write 2 chapters + synopsis for the Tales of Nireym novel adaptation so I can pitch that to Stephanie Smith, also at Conflux.

14 days. Should be a doddle......

And then I might be able to think about some actual original fiction work of my own. After I contact the Uni about their summer school, and write the application for the KSP Writer in Residence program next year. And the Canterbury 2100 tale for Dirk, and the Dr Who story for Steve. Sigh. This has been such a slow writing year for Batt-original work.

I don't think I've ever had a time when my 'Coming Up' list has only been one story long.

Song of the moment: Lawyers, Guns And Money Warren Zevon

Monday, May 22, 2006

BATTERSBY ON THE ELECTRONIC TYPE TALKING INTERNET VIEWING PAGES THINGY

Because I'm such a shy retiring thing, I've started work on a page to pull together all the instances of Battersby on the net: stories, interviews, reviews, articles, and so on. I figure if they're all in the one place it'll make it easier for you all to ignore me :) And, of course, you won't need to go so far to indulge in your Luscious fetish.

Be that as it may (and I'll let you know when I've got more than one link sorted out), I figure it's an appropriate time to remind you all that my Aurealis Award nominated story A Stone to Mark My Passing is still up at the wonderful and lovely Anna Tambour's website.

If you haven't read it yet, consider it a taste of what you'll find within the pages of Through Soft Air (pages 137-145, to be precise). Loss Leader Lee, that's me :)

Saturday, May 20, 2006

THE DUHHVINCHOI CODE...

...was okay. Nothing special. Sort of a better version of National Treasure, with only having to endure Pasty face Hanks instead of Cigar Store Indian Cage. McKellen and Bettany were great, as was Jurgen Prochnow in a small role (and it's been a while since I've seen him be good). Alfred Molina made the most of a part that seemed to involve nothing more than settling his face onto its haunches and looking at people from under his eyebrows. Everyone else sleepwalked, and I've always had a problem with plots based around the idea that the best place to hide something earth-shattering is where anybody could find it. The fact that the two big twists were blindingly obvious from the carpark wasn't much of a help, either, but then, we're dealing with the director who made astronauts almost missing the Earth boring, and the screenwriter who gave us Lost in Space, so I should be thankful I didn't want to kill myself.

One thing I didn't come away with was an understanding of why everybody in the SF genre seems to hate it so much, unless it's because we didn't write it first. It seems exactly the sort of thing many of us would write, had we come up with the idea.

Mind you, that's only from watching the movie. I haven't read the book. And, you know, if you manage to bollix up the date of an X-Men screening and still want to go see a movie, there are worse ways to spend your time. I saw a preview for a new Adam Sandler movie, for example...

Friday, May 19, 2006

STUPID IS......

Getting the Swancon screening date wrong by a week, and having to ring your brother up and explain.

On the other hand, standing in an empty foyer wondering where the hell everyone else is would have been ooooooooh just a tad stupider. Thanx for the heads up Mynxii.

Ah well: might head off to see if Ian McKellen and Paul Bettany can save The DuhhhhhVinchoi Code from the ham-fisted tag team of Howard & Hanks instead.
TOO MUCH FUN

For various reasons I've been feeling a bit grinchy towards science fiction in recent days: a wee touch of the ennuis, if you like. Very little is exciting me, including writing the stuff, and I've been turning my mind in other directions. I'm just that bit sick of dealing with a few of my supposed brethren, their egos and expectations, and I'd just rather be at home writing. And writing something else.

Like always, it'll pass. I'll lock myself away, stop dealing with the scuts who are getting on my tits, get some words down, and I'll feel better. We're down to one kid this weekend, the beautiful C-boy, and apart from a couple of social contacts Luscious and I will be turn and turn about with the boy while the other parent writes. With any luck, that'll do it.

In the meantime, this morning I started work on the script for The Memory of Breathing Movie. I haven't worked in script format for something like 15 years, since I left University. I had big plans at that point. Script writing was something I saw as a big part of my future. And I'm bloody well enjoying the change of format, and the change in thinking. This might be something to keep in mind...

THE WORLD'S MOST SOCIAL HERMIT

The Swancon screening of X-Men III tonight, a Swancon 2008 committee meeting tomorrow night, and we're dropping in to visit the KSP SF group meeting on Sunday. That should fulfil my social quota for the next quarter...

Song of the moment: Comfortably Numb Pink Floyd

Thursday, May 18, 2006

I LOVE SPELLCHECKERS

So I'm emailing Aiden's father as the A-boy has a bout of excema on his knees, and he needs to treat it.

Now, the email said "He's to wash it with pinetarsol and use Sorbolene to keep it moist."

The spellchecker, on the other hand, wanted to change it to "He's to wash it with pinatas and use Caroline to keep it moist."

I know which one Aiden would prefer :)

A NICE REVIEW

The Australian Horror website Horrorscope has a really well-balanced and positive review of Through Soft Air for you all to read. You should go here and read it. I particularly love being referred to as 'hot property'. I've never been a crap TV show hosted by a has-been ocker actor before :)

I don't mind if a review praises or pans, as long as it feels like the reviewer has taken the time to balance their view. Horroscope reviewer Mark Smith has done a nice job here: I'm flattered by the positives and can't argue with the negatives. To me, that's the sign of a good review.

Of course, having read the review and realised what a brilliant book it is , you should then buy a copy :)

Sunday, May 07, 2006

DEAD TREES FOR SALE!

I've been organising the bookshelves in the reading room, and I've plucked some multiple copies of magazines and anthologies out to offer y'all for sale. We've received each of these through both Lyn and I being subscribers or getting multiple contributor's copies, so the copies I'm offering are as new, and not the ones we've flicked through with our greasy, spaghetti-sauce stained thumbs. All prices are plus postage, and I'm happy to organise drop offs, pick ups and otherwise. If you're going to be at Conflux, tell me and I'll bring your order with me.

To whit:

Through Soft Air ($24.95): My short story collection, containing 25 stories, including 6 never before seen and 1 you’ll only have seen if you read Serbian J. Includes the Aurealis Award winning “Pater Familias” and AA-nominated “Tales of Nireym”.

Aurealis 36 ($10) rrp: $12.95: Includes my Australian Shadows winning “Father Muerte & The Theft”, as well as Trent Jamieson’s AA-winning “Slow & Ache” and Kim Westwood’s AA-nominated “Terning Tha Weel”. I have multiple copies of this, as well as my collection—buy one of each for $32!

Writers of the Future Volume 18 ($12) rrp $16.95: Contains my story “Carrying The God”, the 1st western Australian winner in this competition.

Consensual 2 ($5): Contains my story “Moment”, as well as Claire McKenna, Robert Hood, Stephen Dedman, and others. This is a speculative fiction erotica anthology, so is not available unless you can prove you’re over 18 J

Consensual 3 ($5): Contains my story “Love Me Electric”, as well as Deb Biancotti, Stephen Dedman, Sean Williams and others As above, a spec-fic erotica anthology.

Gynaezine 2 ($5): The journal of SF Feminism, usually only available as part of Gynaecon, the ‘hidden’ convention that runs underneath Swancon each year. Contains an article by myself and Lyn on “SF & The Single Parent”, as well as Lily Chrywenstrom, Stephen Dedman, Emma Hawkes and others

Word Thirst 2 ($9): A collection of writings by members of the KSP, contains my story “Pass The Parcel” and Lyn’s “Dolphins of Haven Bay”, as well as Andrew Burke, Alicia Sometimes, Kevin Gillam and others

Whispers From the Shattered Forum #11 ($4): US Small press horror magazine, this issue contains my story “Though I Be Stone”

Borderlands 1 ($8) rrp $10: Contains “Through Soft Air”, the title story of my collection, as well as Simon brown, KJ Bishop, Stephen Dedman and others

Borderlands: The Worlds Within ($5): This is the members book for the 1st Borderlands convention and is unavailable any other way. Contains my story “A Star Is Born” as well as contributions from Chris Lawson, Tess Williams, KJ Bishop, Cat Sparks and others.

Encounters ($16) rrp $18.95: The third CSFG Anthology. Contains my story “Vortle”, as well as Trent Jamieson, Carol Ryles, Cat Sparks and others

All-Star Zeppelin Adventure Stories ($20) rrp: $24.95: Contains my story “Silk”, as well as Tobias Buckell, Howard Waldrop, Richard Lupoff, and others. Contains the Hugo-nominated “Biographical Notes to ‘A Discourse on the Nature of Causality, with Air-Planes’ by Benjamin Rosenbaum” by Benjamin Rosenbaum

Tales of the Unanticipated #25 ($8.50): US magazine, contains my story “Father Muerte & the Theft”, as well as Stephen Dedman, Judy Klass, Martha A Hood and others

ASIM 19:Contains an interview with myself and Lyn by Martin Livings, as well as fiction by Jay lake, Bryn Sparks, and others.
ASIM 16: Contains my story “Through The Window, Merrilee Dances”, as well as Tansy Rayner Roberts, Mikal Trimm and others.
ASIM 10: Contains my story “The Hobbyist”, as well as Ruth Nestvold, Mikal Trimm and others
ASIM 7: Contains Lyn’s story “Learned Instincts” as well as Tansy Rayner Roberts, Grant Watson, Juliet Marillier and others.
ASIM 6: Contains my story “Your Mother Likes Monkeys”, as well as Geoff Maloney, Simon Haynes, Dirk Flinthart and others.

All ASIMs are $5. In addition, we have the following issues of ASIM in which we don't appear: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 8, 9, 12, 13, and 14.

Contact me if you're interested.
ON RUBBING PEOPLE UP THE WRONG WAY...

Well, the letter of complaint has been sent to the KSP, and the vicious old bat herself will get her reply sent to her tomorrow. Her response took longer, because it took more effort to maintain a professional demeanour towards her than it does to the centre.

Sigh. Now to move on to funner things, like the first chapter of the new novel that I've been mentally stirring around my mind over the weekend.

AND THE RIGHT WAY!

Luscious has finally started her Certificate Four in Massage course. In three months time she'll be a fully qualified Massage Therapist. Three months after that (or maybe six, depending on whether she goes full or part time) she'll have her Diploma in Remedial Massage. After that it'll be a decision as to whether she wants to branch into a Physiotherapy degree on a part-time basis.

So here's an invitation. For the duration of her Cert 4 course she's happy to practice on willing guinea pigs for nix. Anyone who does take advantage of this automatically qualifies for a 50% 'mates rates' discount after she's qualified, ie, they'll receive the full massage experience for half price. The only thing is, you'll have to come to the Batthouse in Clarkson. The price of petrol is so high, it's not worth her while to give away both a massage and petrol. She will be available on Saturdays and Sundays.

At the moment her practice sessions will run for half an hour. As her skills and knowledge base grow, so will the time she takes. At the moment she will be concentrating on back and legs. The massage will be for relaxation, not deep tissue manipulation. This will change as she's taught new skills. She will only be taking on three clients per day, one morning and two afternoon, so you can email to make a booking.

Free massage. C'mon down!

DAMN: I WANTED DALI. OR MAYBE GAHAN WILSON...



Who Should Paint You: Andy Warhol
You've got an interested edge that would be reflected in any portraitYou don't need any fancy paint techniques to stand out from the crowd!



What Artist Should Paint Your Portrait?

WHEN YOU DRESS THE CHILDREN IN SEPARATE ROOMS, YOU GET:


Little Red Riding Hood and her brother, Littler Orange Toddling Hood.

Just because.

Song of the Moment: Dazed & Confused Led Zeppelin

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

CONVERSATION IN A CAR

Best thing we ever bought for the kids- 2 Magnadoodles for use in the car. Keeps them amused for the length of any journey. However, it can lead to conversation such as the one I had with Erin on the way back from dropping Aiden at school this morning--

ERIN: I'm drawing a princess.
ME: That's lovely, sweetie.
ERIN: And she's got a dress on.
ME: That's nice.
ERIN: And she's just broken her robot.
ME: Uh, okay.
ERIN: (with relish) And a crocodile is eating her legs!
ME: ................. okay ...............

Monday, May 01, 2006

NOBODY LEAVES EMPTY HANDED

Blake and Cassie go back to their Dad's house tonight, having spent the last week with us for the school holidays. I'm pretty down about it-- this last week's been a hoot. But one thing that makes me happy is being able to give Blakey-boy a bit of a special gift to take with him.

ASIM 22 arrived in the post yesterday, and it contains my story Blake The God. Which stars, quite obviously for anyone who has ever met him, the B-boy himself.

I've been waiting to see this story in print for a little while. It's a bit of a favourite: it's funny, light, and (hopefully) is a fairly big signpost to show my fondness for my youngest Bonus Son.

Tangent Online has a positive review. So get yourself a copy, and if you see me out and about with him ask Blakey to sign the story. You'll just about make his year.


This is your God!